I realized how much I relied on outside validation when I quit my job and started my writing business.
Oddly enough, I’d catch myself looking over my shoulder from time to time thinking, “I wonder if I am doing this right?”
It was counterintuitive feeling that wasn’t unlike running backwards.
For years, I had been programmed to seek the validation of teachers, coaches, parents, bosses and society. Then, suddenly, I was stuck in a room alone and I was the only one that could give myself the validation I was looking for.
For the first time in my life, it had to come from within.
Seeking validation from others is tricky because there is never enough to feel fully satisfied.
For example: you can tell the body-builder with abs that she’s not fat 1,000 times but until she believes she’s not fat, it’ll never be enough.
Writers, marketers, creators, entrepreneurs, bodybuilders… eventually all of us have to dig deep and feel around for the validation buried somehwere inside of us.
Until then, finding confidence in our work will feel like treading water in steel toe boots.
By Cole Schafer.