I struggled with jealousy for a long time, especially in relationships. As I grew to understand myself on a deeper level I realized this jealousy was just the tip of a much larger iceberg I was ignoring below the surface.
I was battling a horrible fear of abandonment. I was jealous of other men where it concerned the women I was dating because I was scared of losing her to him. I was at war. And, love should be many things but it should never be war.
Jealousy was my body and minds way of doing everything I could to not be abandoned, to not feel that pain of someone leaving. And, as a result, I led an exhausting life. I couldn’t enjoy love or intimacy because I was so fucking terrified of losing it. Numerous people, both men and women alike, struggle with jealousy. We attempt to mask it in our relationships as being healthy or flattering, branding it as some sort of fucked up proof our partners care about us.
But, jealousy is not love. It’s selfishness. And, if we’re not careful, it’s an emotion that can quickly transform into possession. Clipping wings. Something even further from love.
Short story shorter. Let her keep her wings. She’s prettier (and you’ll be happier) with them on.
By Cole Schafer.
P.S. One day these one minute writings will be a big book called “One Minute, Please.” Can I let you know when that day comes? You can say yes, here.