How long-distance is making me a more thoughtful lover, writer and creator.

For the long story, keep reading.

It was years ago. More than a decade, actually.

So, I texted her.

I asked her what she was doing that Sunday morning.

She said she had a hair appointment.

I asked her if I could fly into Denver and take her to coffee.

There was a very long pause.

She didn’t text back for a good while.

(She would later tell me she threw her phone on her bed in complete shock).

Eventually, however, she said yes.

And, two days later, I found myself standing outside a quaint little coffee shop in Denver’s LoHi district staring at an angel in a pair of doc martens with a smile that made me feel like I was a fifteen-year-old kid at church camp trying like hell to keep quiet his turbulent heart.

I’d never recommend long-distance to anyone (but I’d never argue against it).

When people ask me about long-distance, I generally repeat something I once wrote in One Minute, Please?

If I ever have a son that falls in love with a girl a half dozen states over, I will tell him to be wildly careful falling in love with pretty girls in far away places… as I race him to the airport to catch his flight.

Perhaps that’s a long answer but we are talking long distance — it’s rather fitting, isn’t it?

Kill snakes the moment you see them; and don’t play with dead snakes.

My mentor and friend, Christopher Lochhead, once gave me a beautiful piece of advice in regards to relationships.

Kill snakes the moment you see them; and don’t play with dead snakes.

Being that I only get to see her once every couple weeks (and that’s if I am lucky), the two of us are forced to make the most out of the time we have together.

Hardwood grows slowly.

Once upon a time, I read a quote by the wonderful singer-songwriter Jewel… hardwood grows slowly.

Write to just one person.

It might sound crazy, but 90% of One Minute, Please? was written to her.

Pick up the damn phone.

Communication doesn’t kill relationships, resentment does.

Leave your ego at the door.

I have a great big ego. At times, it can get in the way of things.

Leave her better than you found her.

For now, this is my last lesson for the day. I’m sure there will be more before too long.

I write pretty words and sometimes sell things. https://coleschafer.com/subscribe

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