Chocolate milk, a latte and a mother fucking cookie.

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I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop this morning, banging my head against my laptop in hopes that some words would trickle out. Nothing did for a good while. In fact, I was moments away from giving up when in walked a chubby seven-year-old boy with a Spiderman wallet. He approached the barista and spouted off his order like he was giving a command to his troops, “I want a chocolate milk, a latte and a cookie. Please.” I started bursting out laughing and so did the woman next to me and the boy mean mugged the two of us across the counter until her and I both stopped. She and I then whispered and snickered to one another about how fucking prolific it was that this kid ordered his order of chocolate milk, a latte and a cookie like a badass.

I’m not sure where the kid's parents were. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the little badass took an Uber. All I know is that I need to command life the way this little boy commands his baristas and if I had a little girl I wouldn’t let her anywhere near him.

By Cole Schafer.

P.S. One day these one-minute writings will be a big book called “One Minute, Please.” Can I let you know when that day comes? .

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I write pretty words and sometimes sell things.

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